Letters To My Sons - Why this blog?

I grew up in Ecuador, the last of three children and the only girl, in a highly Catholic country. From a young age, I faced different experiences than those of my brothers. The roles and responsibilities assigned to women were clear, and I was taught to embrace them. But I always had this feeling that something wasn't right. It wasn't just that I had to do the dishes with my mom and grandma while my father and brothers enjoyed free time. It was also the messages of submission and adaptation I was given to survive in this world. Women needed to be "nice" and quiet, dress appropriately, and "behave". We never spoke about sex or our female bodies, and everything about reproductive biology was kept secret from the males in our house.

I left Ecuador at 19 to study in Germany. Although many of my childhood issues were gone (the men in Germany seemed more adept at equality in household chores), I found new challenges. I studied Engineering, and being one of only 10 women in a class of 350 was not easy. During a professional development class, I was told, "To succeed, one needs to be as masculine as possible." Many people thought I was there because of positive discrimination, not my own merit.

The more I advanced in my career, the more I realized that women face systemic differences throughout their lives. Especially when starting a family, maternity becomes another societal and biological reminder of how dramatically different life is for women.

I was often frustrated because I couldn't speak to many men about this. For most of them, feminism was a theme that was no longer necessary. It was disheartening every time I tried to make a point.

And then life gave me two beautiful boys. I thought, I want to teach them, in a loving fashion, what my experiences have been, and how other women might feel as well. And I want to focus first on the experience of having a female body. This is not to make them feel inferior regarding women, nor to make them feel guilty about their privilege. But simply to raise their awareness.

I hope these letters serve as a guide for them to grow up mindful of the privileges they still have (like being less cautious when crossing a dark alley) and help them navigate relationships and interactions with kindness and respect. I believe that this awareness will help them be better friends, partners, and individuals.

I realize this is a biased account, based on my experiences as a Latin woman raised with Catholic values. There are many other groups whose experiences I might not fully understand. But my aim is to teach young boys to be aware of women's experiences, hoping that this awareness extends beyond just the two genders.