Letters from My Luteal Phase
- Paola Carrillo-Bustamante
- Sep 1
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 3
A quiet story about PMS, awareness, and a brain on hormones.
I’ve cried over an empty fridge. Over dropped keys. Over a sudden wave of hopelessness that came out of nowhere. Not once or twice—but regularly. Every month.
I couldn’t form the simplest sentence or complete basic tasks at work. Again, not once or twice, but consistently, like clockwork.
And for years, I had no idea why.
The Quiet Kind of PMS
It wasn’t the kind of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) you see in memes. There were no dramatic outbursts or chocolate binges. Mine came in subtler, more confusing ways: brain fog, exhaustion, and a sense that everything was too much—or worse, completely pointless.
I used to think I was just bad at life. That I was failing at being a functioning adult. It took years and three doctors to learn there was a name for this: the luteal phase. The two weeks before your period, when hormonal shifts can turn the brain into unfamiliar territory.
The Silence Around Cycles
I grew up in a culture where we didn’t talk much about female biology. Periods were spoken of in code. Emotions were things you kept to yourself or shared only with a few trusted women: your mom, your sister, your best friend. We learned the basics: hot water bottles, missed school days, chocolate. Then we moved on.
But no one ever talked about how your brain could feel like a different place entirely, just because of where you were in your cycle.
Even when I finally brought it up to my doctor in Germany, the response was dismissive: "That’s just how it is. You have to live with it." But why? Why should we quietly endure days—sometimes weeks—of not feeling like ourselves?
Connecting the Dots
Things changed when I started tracking my cycle. (Thank you, Clue.) I began to notice a pattern. Every month, the same symptoms appeared: starting about 10 days before my period, fading about 5 days before. This couldn’t be PMS, I thought. It was too early.
Eventually, I found a (female) doctor who took me seriously. She explained that this is a common but lesser-known type of PMS, and prescribed a herbal remedy: Agnus Castus. It helped.
Still, I couldn’t shake the question: Why don’t we talk about this?
Why isn’t this part of how we teach biology or design workplaces? Why do we still reduce PMS to just being "moody"?
What PMS Actually Is
PMS and its more severe cousin PMDD refer to a cluster of physical and emotional symptoms that show up in the second half of the menstrual cycle. It’s not just emotional. And it’s definitely not imaginary.
Here’s the biology:
During the follicular phase (the first half of the cycle), estrogen rises, supporting energy, focus, and emotional stability. Ovulation marks a shift. In the luteal phase (the second half), progesterone rises and estrogen drops. If no pregnancy occurs, both hormones plunge in the days before the period. That drop—particularly the fall in estrogen, which influences serotonin—can lead to mood swings, anxiety, fatigue, cravings, and more.
This is your body responding to hormonal withdrawal after a month of preparation.
PMS is not a mystery. It's measurable. Studies suggest it affects roughly 1 in 4 women globally. Regional data varies, and in some areas, like Latin America, robust population data is still limited—which in itself reflects how often this topic is overlooked.
What Can Help
Evidence-based treatments exist. First-line options include certain antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). These can help regulate mood symptoms during the luteal phase. Hormonal birth control can also be effective, particularly types that include drospirenone and ethinyl estradiol, especially when taken continuously.
A multimodal approach is often most effective: think cognitive behavioral therapy, regular exercise, nutrition (especially calcium), and in some cases, estrogen patches.
Herbal medicines like Agnus Castus may support milder cases. But too often, the advice stops at "eat better, sleep more, and push through." That’s not good enough.
A New Frontier
Recently, I came across something that felt revolutionary: a tool called Nettle, developed by female neuroscientists. It’s designed not to override the brain during PMS—but to work with it.
The science? Our cycles can heighten brain sensitivity, disrupting mood, cognition, and even how we process pain. The brain literally changes.
Emilè Raditè, Nettle’s CEO, explained it this way in the MOTHER podcast:
"Let’s think of seasons—spring, summer, autumn, and winter—and then you have day and night. Men’s brains switch between day and night. Women have both: a season (their menstrual cycle) and a day and night. You know that an evening in autumn feels different than one in summer."
Nettle is a sleek headband using gentle electrodes to stimulate parts of the brain affected during PMS. Just 20 minutes a day has shown measurable improvements in symptoms. Not a magic fix—but a clear sign we’re finally taking this seriously.
Why This Matters
Not every woman suffers from PMS. Not every man is unaware of it. But many who do suffer, do so silently. I hope this story raises awareness. Because empathy starts with curiosity. With listening. And that’s something we can all do.
What I Hope For
I hope my sons grow up in a world where talking about the menstrual cycle is not embarrassing, but simply part of life. Where women don’t have to “tough it out” through hormonal shifts — but have access to tools, support, and compassion.
And I hope more of us, regardless of gender, start paying attention to the quiet things that shape a woman’s everyday experience. Sometimes, awareness is the first act of care.
Did this resonate with you?
If you know someone who might benefit from this story—a friend, partner, daughter, or colleague—share it. And if you'd like to hear more, subscribe. Let’s start the conversations we’ve been silent about for too long.
Refererences
Comments